Rules
by SerialAuthor
Summary: Rules for Sasuke Uchiha, and Naruto Uzumaki to live by. They each have their own set. So read, and enjoy. Sasu/Naru
1. Chapter 1: Uchiha Rule 1

**Rule #1: Have a smart bride**

Sasuke looked over at Naruto who was slaving over a simple crossword.

He raised an eyebrow when Naruto began to threaten, and stab the paper to death with his kunai.

"What're you looking at Sasuke? Trying to rub it in my face how much smarter you are?" Naruto asked glaring angrily at Sasuke before walking to their bedroom.

He winced when he heard the door slam shut.

When he thought Naruto's tantrum was finally over and everything had settled down he heard Naruto yell, "And you know what the shops closed tonight, bub! So take your patronage somewhere else! Bastard!!" Sasuke had to flinch violently at this, because Naruto knew very well about Sasuke's needs.

He got up from the chair slowly, trying not to attract anymore of Naruto's rage than he did naturally, because it was in these moments that he was very wary of Naruto's anger toward their difference in intelligence levels.

He walked quickly to the training grounds, and sat down on a stump that had been created the last time Naruto, and him had done it outside when they couldn't make it to the house.

Maybe Naruto wasn't as book smart as he was, but Sasuke Uchiha could honestly admit that there was no one on this earth that he would want to have as a partner in battle, or in life.

Check.


	2. Chapter 2: Uzumaki Rule 1

**Rule #1: Make sure partner is not a teme.**

Naruto looked over at Sasuke, who was minding his own business as he read a family scroll in a chair near the window, and grinned.

Too late for that, he thought placing an X by the rule.

He looked up and back at Sasuke who was now looking at him in a weird and uncomfortable way that only meant one thing: playtime.

Naruto watched the sly, sexy bastard walk over to him, and smirk evilly.

Next thing he knew he was being thrown over Sasuke's shoulder, and taken upstairs.

He smiled as he thought of Rule #1.

Sasuke could be a teme as long as he was Naruto's teme. . .

And didn't try to kill him again.

Failed.


	3. Chapter 3: Uchiha Rule 2

**Rule #2: Bride must be a good cook.**

Sasuke looked down at his food with a grimace, and then back up at Naruto who was smiling from his seat across from him, silently urging him to try it.

He stuck his fork into the dead thing on his plate, and took a huge nasty chunk out of it with a hasty crunch sound that reverberated through the dining room missing an oblivious Naruto, who was still smiling at him, and staring intently.

He stuck it in his mouth and felt the need to regurgitate immediately as things he couldn't name oozed, and scratched in his mouth and esophagus.

He wanted to, oh, how he wanted to, tell Naruto how crappy the food was, but he looked up into those blue eyes filled with hope, and he sighed. He couldn't do it.

Damn.

He gulped the remains of the dead thing in his mouth, and drank his pitcher of water in an attempt to wash out the taste.

"It very good Naruto," Sasuke said looking anywhere other than at Naruto.

Sasuke wondered if there was any hope for someone with such atrocious cooking skills, and whether he could get it by Naruto without him noticing.

But as he was tackled onto the floor by an exuberant Naruto he pushed it out of his mind.

Instant Ramen is food, right?

Check?


	4. Chapter 4: Uzumaki Rule 2

**Rule #2: Make sure teme won't cheat.**

Naruto laughed at this one. Sasuke didn't even get along with the well known friends they had, or Naruto had and Sasuke just happened to be around, and this rule wanted him to worry about Naruto being with a total stranger.

Impossible. . . But it wouldn't hurt to check.

Naruto followed and stared at Sasuke, discreetly, of course, who was surrounded by fan girls, and the odd fan boy dotting the rampant crowd every now and then.

Naruto sighed to himself. Sasuke could easily cheat on him if the stupid idiotic bastard wanted to, and could also pick from an array of villagers, because according to the crowd, and various Sasuke dedicated fan clubs he had a lot of choices.

Geez, Sasuke just had to be a sexy teme!

Naruto went back to staring when he saw the peaceful look on Sasuke's face morph into the Uchiha glare, and laughed when most of the crowd left. How could these "choices" think that they'd survive Sasuke if the "Glare" scared them?  
When there was only a quarter of brave souls left he smiled wider when he saw Sasuke activate the Sharingan knocking the rest out into hopefully just a light sleep unlike last time.

When they were all down, Naruto included, because he forgot not to look Sasuke in the eyes when he had on his Sharingan, Sasuke stood up and walked through the bodies littering the floor to where he heard his dobe fall out of a tree.

Seriously, he thought lifting Naruto onto his shoulder; Naruto should work on his stalking skills.

When Naruto woke up in the darkened bedroom he turned to look see Sasuke sleeping peacefully beside him face impassive as ever, to Naruto's annoyance for some reason.

Than he frowned as stupid Rule #2 crept its way back to the front of his thoughts.

Sasuke would never cheat on him, because he knew better than to get Naruto angry.

Plus, this antisocial, severely misogynistic, often scary, and all powerful bastard of a teme was all his.

Check.


	5. Chapter 5: Uchiha Rule 3

**Rule #3: Bride looks good in a kimono.**

Sasuke looked up from the scroll, and looked at Naruto who was walking around in his boxers.

"Hey Sasuke!" he heard Naruto yell from the kitchen as something broke with a loud crash. He heard Naruto mumble "Ah, I don't think he'll need this mug. He could always just use his second favorite." Sasuke's eye twitched as he heard this.

"Dobe." Sasuke mumbled under his breath before replying, "What do you want?"

"There's a festival this weekend," Sasuke perked up at this bit of information, "and I was wondering, even though I know better, if you wanted to go?"

"Sure." he replied with a smirk so evil, had his older brother Itachi seen it, his face may have shown emotion. Naruto replied with the sound of more breaking glass. "No one likes fine China anyway," he whispered throwing them away.

Sasuke smiled at the beautiful creation that hung in his closet. He had done it. The kimono was beautiful.

Naruto had unknowingly planned his own demise when he had announced the upcoming festival, and now it was time to pay the price. He had used sex, a tape measure, and ramen to do this, and now here it was: the fruit of all his hard, extremely hard work.

Sasuke sat down on their bed and pulled out the scroll to get a head start on the next rule when he noticed that there was another part to Rule #3.

**Rule #3 Part A: Make sure Uchiha symbol is shown clearly and prominently somewhere on kimono.**

He looked back at the kimono, then at Naruto who was still sleeping, tape measure in hand, and boxers next to him.

He couldn't wait for tonight.

Naruto looked beautiful in his kimono. Sasuke smiled; he definitely was a genius.

He had goaded Naruto into a contest, and had won, of course. Now Naruto, who had stopped being angry, was now laughing happily, and "beating Sasuke silly" at all the festival games they competed in.

Later during the night Sasuke had had enough of flaunting Naruto's ukeness around, so after letting Naruto stab him with a kunai, they had been at a couple's booth working on trust exercises, where he learned that apparently he couldn't trust Naruto with a sharp instrument, something he had learned a long time ago, he grabbed the blonde's hand and dragged him away to the Uchiha compound ignoring all of "their" friends that wanted to have a conversation.

Dropping him onto their bed, he began taking the kimono off of Naruto who was protesting their sudden leave from the festival.

Sasuke ignored him as he kissed a sweet path down to Naruto's seal. He stood up from his position, and looked down at Naruto. The blush, sweat, gasps, moans, pants, the arching up, the arching down, and the expressions.

Sasuke concluded, as he went back down to work on Naruto, that even though Naruto looked great in a kimono, he looked even better out of one, naked, and by his side.

Check.


	6. Chapter 6: Uzumaki Rule 3

**Rule #3: Make sure teme can cook.**

As Naruto looked at the rule he couldn't help but wonder why he always called Sasuke teme.

Make no mistake Sasuke was a bastard. He just wondered why he never called Sasuke by his name other than when they. . .

Ugh, he couldn't even say the word. When they had "playtime".

Wait, what was the rule again?

Something about Sasuke-bastard cooking.

Getting off the couch he walked towards the Uchiha training grounds where he knew Sasuke spent most of his time.

As he walked there he made himself promise to at least try not to call Sasuke anything else but his name.

"Hey Sasuke!" he yelled silently adding the word bastard out of habit. "Do you want to cook some lunch?"

"No. Why can't you do it?" Sasuke asked kicking a tree that had a picture that vaguely looked like Naruto, well, to Naruto it looked like Naruto.

"Really?" Naruto asked smiling. "You liked the dinner I made for you that much?" To be honest Naruto thought that it wouldn't be good, and was ready for Sasuke to be a whiny bastard so he could get his revenge, after the teme convinced him to cook that night, he would ignore that stupid cranky asshole bastard and keep his legs closed for a nice long time.

So when Sasuke had told him it was good he was happy, so happy that he tackled Sasuke to the floor.

They would have "celebrated" right there, but for some reason Sasuke had insisted that they both brush their teeth before they did anything.

He was brought out of his lovely musings of that day when a depressed looking Sasuke placed a hard hadnd on his shoulder.

"No, it- its my turn."

For a second Naruto thought Sasuke was getting sick as his face turned to a pale green, and how his shudders wold shudder every now and them.

Was he missing something?

Naruto sat at the table and looked at his plate.

"Onigiri?" he asked looking at his plate incredulously. Was he supposed to be impressed by this?

"Just eat it. I put something special in the middle of it for you."

Naruto took a bite from the top and saw something stringy. Worms?

He looked at Sasuke who urged him to go on, and so he took another bite totally ready to kick Sasuke's ass.

With that bite he tasted Heaven. Ramen.

He looked up at Sasuke to see that annoying smirk on Sasuke's face, and he smiled.

"You do know what I like."

"Well, your love for that dish is hard to not notice, and even harder to ignore."

Naruto couldn't help it when he heard the reason that may or may have not been a diss, and tackled Sasuke to the floor.

"Sasuke," he began nuzzling Sasuke's neck, "these are the times when I realize why I fell in love with you."

Naruto felt Sasuke tense beneath him when he realized what had just happened, and what he had just said. What had come out of his big mouth into the air, into Sasuke's ears, and probably marinating in Sasuke's brain too so it could be analyzed in every way possible, because Sasuke just loved thinking.

He jumped of Sasuke, and began to run, taking a couple of ramen onigiri with him, of course, because did you really expect him to go empty handed when they were right there with ramen INSIDE them?

Naruto was still in the tree watching clones of Sasuke search for him.

Leaning against the tree he slapped his forehead. How could he have said that?

Kami, he was an idiot."Naruto?" said all the Sasuke's as they gathered under tree looking up at him.

"Get away."

"Naruto, its okay. I'm not going to get mad. It just shocked me since I'm not used to you saying that word. Plus, I kind of liked it."

"Geez Sasuke, how can you be so insensitive? It's what I do, but I failed. I don't deserve ramen, Sasuke didn't think it was his place to tell Naruto that he did indeed take some of the onigiri with ramen in them, said Naruto totally forgetting earlier, and what he had said about his promise to Sasuke.

"I'm insensitive when you're the one who calls me a bastard all the time, and the first you don't actually calling me by my REAL, the one I was born with, name you get dejected and depressed," Sasuke said summarizing everything that he surmised that was wrong right now.

"See you do understand my problem," Naruto said letting go of the tree, that was the only thing that was holding him up at the moment, to fall forward.

And Sasuke, being the type to be ready for anything, especially being with Naruto, held out his arms in preparation to catch Naruto.

Catching the blond in his arms Sasuke instinctively held the blond close to him wrapping his arms around his frame.

"Since I DON'T understand why you're overreacting I'll just pretend that I never heard you call me 'Sasuke'. Is that good enough?"

"Thanks Sasuke," said Naruto extremely relieved as he tried to get out Sasuke's unreleasing hold. "Can you let me go now?"

"No," Sasuke said walking back to the main house . "Did you like the food I made?"

"Yeah. We should take turns cooking," Naruto said relaxing into Sasuke's body as he became focused on something else that led his interest away from his entrapment.

Had Naruto looked back at Sasuke he would have seen him pale, even more than he already was, and the pained look that crossed his features.

"Naruto I think that you should just relax. No cooking for you. Okay?" Sasuke said panicking a little.

After he had seen Tsunade last time when Naruto had "cooked" something for him that he was tricked by blue eyes into eating he had been told by the medic-nin that if he tried to risk his life and put himself in danger by consuming such a deadly toxin he was going to die. He should also rethink having sex with Naruto until Naruto was incapacitated before he decided to go to the hospital.

"Oh yeah!" Naruto said remembering what Tsunade had told him. "Tsunade says I use too much flavor. Honestly you're such a weakling teme," Naruto said laughing.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "If you say so, but don't you want to celebrate?" Sasuke asked whispering in his ear as they walked up the stairs.

"When did we get here?" Naruto asked perplexed.

"Don't worry about that Naruto., but aren't you forgetting something? I celebrated wit you last time," Naruto heard Sasuke say kissing his cheek in a way that gave Naruto a hint, because he hadn't realized before, what kind of "celebration" Sasuke had in mind.

It was the kind that made Naruto happy to have Kyubi healing him.

He yelped when he felt Sasuke's hand squeeze his ass before dropping him on the bed.

Looking at Sasuke who was now taking off his shirt and laying himself on top of him he sighed with a smile, and wrapped his arms around the others neck.

"You'll find any reason to 'celebrate' won't you?"

Check.

**SerialAuthor:** I'm updating this, because it is the beginning of summer.


	7. Chapter 7: Uchiha Rule 4

**Rule #4: Bride will not commit adultery.**

Sasuke was torn in two. Naruto wasn't one to do such a thing, but Sasuke was worried. Naruto was friendly, but sometimes, Naruto could be a little too friendly. And oblivious. So damn oblivious about how sexy, and cute, he was. And his ass. Oh Kami! It should have been illegal to have an ass like that. It was just so. . . perfect.

He sighed. Maybe Naruto was right, and he was turning into a pervert like Kakashi-sensei.

He looked at the clock, and stood up. Time to go watch Naruto.

He had headache. A big one. Naruto was not only friendly, but as the years had come and gone, he'd became an unconscious, and natural flirt. How come he hadn't noticed this before? Oh, yeah, he had been busy with Itachi.

At first it wasn't bad, but then Naruto started to get hot, and began to take off his jacket, still the glaringly bright orange color, but adorned with the Uchiha insignia, of course, exposing his shirtless upper half, which got more looks that Sasuke would have liked. This was when the headache began.

Naruto began walking again so now you could see how his ass moved in that way which seemed to make the already high temperature increase.

Sasuke then saw a genin group of boys walking behind Naruto, laughing at something one of them said. They all stopped and stared as Naruto stopped abruptly to bend over and roll up his pant legs, that were still that ugly orange color that blinded Sasuke at times. It wasn't what Naruto was doing that caught their attention, though. It was his backside.

Sasuke's headache grew, because he wanted to glare at the visual trespassers, but he also wanted to stare at Naruto, take him home, and ravish that beautiful body. Naruto stood up and began walking again, but now with a group of hormonal teenage genin behind him staring intently at Sasuke's property. And he was oblivious. His headache was growing.

When Naruto finally had turned around to see the group, Sasuke felt hope for a brief moment that Naruto's obliviousness was just a phase, and that he had finally grown out of, but it was not meant to be, because now, Naruto was hugging them in his shirtless, and sexy state.

Sasuke struggled to keep his hand away from his weapon's pouch, but he succeeded. Just barely. Those genin would never know how close to death they had been on this day. He followed them as they bought popsicles from a passing street vendor.

He became drenched in sweat, well, more sweat than he already was soaked in, as he watched Naruto lick the popsicle in such a suggestive manner, that Sasuke was tempted to replace it with his own popsicle stick. When he looked back at the genin they were staring at Naruto's mouth working on the popsicle stick, gulping every now and then, wiping away sweat while they ignored the sticky mess of the popsicles they held that were melting in their hands under the glare of the sun.

Sasuke's headache had grown intensely at this point due to the indecisiveness of his brain. These were the thoughts running through his mind at this moment: kill the genin, laugh at them, sympathize with them, have sex with Naruto, get rid of the stubborn obliviousness that stayed no matter what he did, and tie Naruto up in a place where only he could see him. Did you see Sasuke's dilemma?

So when Sasuke saw Naruto start heading home, he was immensely relieved. It gave him a chance to take some aspirin, and get rid of the raging hard on he was now sporting thanks to an oblivious blond flirt.

As Sasuke watched Naruto sleep from the many times they had done it, he smiled. Naruto would never do something like that. This dobe with his natural flirtatious personality, sexy body with an ass to yearn for, short temper, loud mouth, and sexy cute ukeness was all his.

Check.

It didn't stop him from asking Naruto to stop being such a sexy, cute, fuckable uke who's an unconscious flirt. After dodging the fist aimed at his head, and ignoring the yells of, "I'm not cute!" and "Fuckable? What the-!" and "Uke? Teme, I'll be seme one day!", he threw Naruto over his shoulder, taking him back to their room where there nice and soft bed was so he could "pound" it into Naruto why he was seme, and how he was such a cute fuckable uke. Naruto was pissed off when he was bedridden.

**SerialAuthor:** I'm updating this, because it is the beginning of summer.


	8. Chapter 8: Uzumaki Rule 4

**Rule #4: Too dirty to register in Naruto's mind as something other than 'beeps.'**

Naruto read the rule, and his face became flushed with the color red. He felt something crawl up his throat and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

Wiping his mouth off he flushed the toilet and wondered who the hell wrote these rules especially this one! He took the page and threw in the toilet flushing it to bad rule Heaven. No. This rule deserved Hell.

Oh Kami! He didn't even know if he was cruel enough to beeep to beeeeeeeeep beep beeeeeeep beeeeep to Sasuke and beeeeeeep beeeeeeep beeeeeep beeeeeeeeeep just for tis stupid rule. Especially the part about beeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeep animals and beeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeep ramen beeep Iruka & Kakashi. And most importantly not even beeeeeeeeep beeeep beeeeeeep the Rookie Nine and Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari or to even try get Sasuke to attempt to beeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeep the hokage who still hated him.

Naruto flushed. There was a lot of dirty words in that rule.

Suddenly feeling dirty he whipped his clothes off throwing them away, because they were a witness to "that" rule and jumped in the shower.

So as he rubbed and scrubbed himself clean with hot water and soap he heard Sasuke come into the shower with him.

Before Sasuke could ask if he could join, more out of courtesy, because he wasn't getting out with Naruto all nice and wet in there, Naruto hugged him close.

"I'm sorry Sasuke," he said rubbing the others back, "I just want you to know that I would never ever do that to you."

"That's good to know," Sasuke said as his hands traveled down Naruto's back. . .

"Hey! I'm apologizing!" Naruto yelled trying to pull back.

"I'm trying to help you make it up to me for whatever you were apologizing for," Sasuke replied lifting the blond up and pushing him against the wall. "See I'm helping you out, so, why don't you just be quiet and let us reconcile."

Naruto was over Sasuke shoulder clean and tired. Maybe he should lengthen the ti-

"Ow!" he yelled grabbing his ass. "Did you just pinch me?"

"I know what you were thinking," Sasuke said throwing him on the bed.

Naruto looked at the clock.

"You cheater! You did that to me and it hadn't even been six hours!"

"No Naruto," Sasuke said kissing up Naruto thigh, "that wasn't cheating. That was us reconciling after you apologized. This," he said biting into the soft flesh, " is the six hour mark sex."

As Sasuke began kissing him again in. . . places as he began to do, um, "stuff" to him Naruto wondered whether he should rethink not doing Rule #4.

**SerialAuthor:** I'm updating this, because it is the beginning of summer.


	9. Chapter 9: Rule 5

**Rule #5: Get married to the one who you deem worthy, and passed the rules.**

They each looked at this rule with a grimace.

Naruto would obviously take it into offense if he got down on one knee, and proposed to him as if he were female.

Sasuke would probably break up with him, or use it as an excuse to try and kill him again, yeah, Naruto wasn't getting over that any time soon, and call him a stupid and idiotic dobe who needed to stop living in the fantasy world, and come back to reality.

Naruto scoffed lightly to himself. "Stupid teme always gotta be a douche-bag."

Sasuke looked at Naruto hearing the insult, and wondered, not for the first time, what the hell Naruto was thinking about. Last time Naruto had done this he was a "dick."

As Sasuke stared at Naruto, both in their usual positions in the living room, Naruto laying down on his stomach wearing only boxers, because on this hot summer day you'd have to be a fool, or Sasuke, to wear regular clothes.

So watching Naruto lay there with the only white cotton boxers, because apparently light colors didn't attract as much ultraviolet rays as dark clothes did and didn't hold them in like darker clothes did, and that was when he had decided Naruto was spending a little too much time with the medic-nins. But that wasn't the only thing that was crossing his mind right now.

BUTTS. Naruto's in particular seeing as how it was taunting him.

Looking at the clock he smiled. Five minutes that ass would pay.

Naruto could feel "the" stare at him, and shivered. He looked at the clock discreetly.

Oh. It was that time already, he thought getting up of the couch.

Before Naruto could reach the stairs he felt a pair of arms wrap around him pulling him close.

"Where are you going, Naru-chan?"

Instead of answering Naruto used his elbow to hit Sasuke in the stomach using chakra to make it hurt more.

As Sasuke fell to the ground in pain he ran up the stairs as fast as he could to their bedroom and grabbed his emergency clothes.

Jumping out the window his eyes passed another clock. Four minutes and thirty seconds.

As he touched down on the ground he heard Sasuke's voice.

"Don't worry. I'll get you."

Naruto shivered and ran quickly towards the gates.

He thought it would be the same as all the other times, save the ending, he wanted to win once, but Sasuke and his needs made Sasuke a little dangerous. He set traps that made Naruto a little scared about trying to run away, and sometimes he felt like it was his duty to get Sasuke help for his sexual addiction that the teme liked to claim he didn't have. It was just an addiction to Naruto.

He was worse than Kakashi, but that didn't stop him from wondering about Iruka's health living with a man like that, even after Kakashi told him that they only had sex four times a day. Plus, Iruka ate healthier so he had more energy, and, of course Iruka had breaks when he went on missions. The four a day sex thing didn't count when they both had a day off.

It was true, Naruto thought getting closer to the gates that would lead to his heaven. Maybe Kakashi wasn't that bad. . . No they were both bad, and needed help Naruto surmised missing being hit in the head with a boulder. A big one that could have been its own hill, and would have decapitated him had it connected.

When he was so close to the handle of the gate that would set him free he was tackled to the ground.

Damn.

"I bet you thought you won," Sasuke whispered into his ear.

"Can we at least do this in the bed?"

Naruto slept with his ass firmly in Sasuke's lap with his tool laying in between his cheeks which was one of Sasuke's favorite sleeping positions, one that he insisted helped him sleep better.

Sasuke looked down at the dobe, and grabbed Naruto's left hand bringing the ring finger to his mouth kissing it.

"Naruto, I'm going to put a ring on your finger, and get you to marry me even if you don't want to. 'Cause I can't and won't see you with anyone else, because they wouldn't live very long. Okay? Remember that I am your only teme."

When Naruto woke up he felt like he had missed something important, but dismissed it. Sasuke would probably find it, and try to make him be reliable. Whatever.

Naruto removed Sasuke's arm from around his waist and slid out of bed standing up slowly as he stretched out his back.

"Stupid idiotic teme. Now it's six hours."

Sasuke flinched violently in his sleep as if he were having a violent nightmare.

Standing in the shower letting the hot water pound his skin while he thought.

Sasuke.

According to his friends they acted like newlyweds. Mostly because of Sasuke's vivacious libido and possessiveness. Naruto was kind of just there as the poor soul subjected this "torture."

So, Naruto thought to himself, why not.

They loved each other, and he couldn't imagine himself with anyone else. Sasuke, he could only see in a failing marriage.

Naruto smiled a wide ass smile at the thought of some nymphomaniac yelling at Sasuke over his sexual vitality. Yes, Naruto believed Sasuke could wear a rabid nymphomaniac out.

So Sasuke would have to say yes to being married to him, because no one, not even his fan girls that Naruto was sure would abandon the Uchiha if they knew how he really was, would stay with the bastard.

"Sasuke will stay with me, because no one else can take him, we love each other, and there's no way we'll ever be apart."

A week later smiling well, Naruto was smiling, and Sasuke smirked, kind of, you know, it couldn't even be called a smirk, but whatever, as they both spent their breakfasts, eating something Sasuke cooked, scheming on how to marry the other.

Naruto's plans were to leave hints everywhere, and have his friends say repeatedly how they should get married.

Brilliant.

Now all Sasuke had to do was not be a teme by threatening, attacking, or anything that would make him angry, and it would be fine.

Sasuke's plan was to just a take a chance, and ask Naruto to marry him. It was almost Valentine's Day so he could plan for it to be that day.

He looked at Naruto, who was bent over and showing that ass (Kami! Let time fly today, Sasuke prayed mentally), and wondered if he could take a hit when he was vulnerable.

Naruto looked into the mirror and smiled. He had energy, and Sasuke wasn't making any promises that were making his face blush.

They were going out and today was Valentine's Day! Kami, if the star's weren't on his side today than Sasuke wasn't a teme, and since Sasuke was a teme that meant the stars were Pro Naruto!

He fingered the ring in his pocket, and smiled to himself in the mirror.

"You're going to come back an engaged man you sly sexy Naruto," he said winking at himself, and blowing a kiss to himself.

He grabbed his kunai, just in case, you know, and he began to walk towards the restaurant with a spring in his step and a name on his lips.

As soon as Naruto had walked in Sasuke had wanted to jump him, but he restrained himself.

Naruto would be proud.

"Hey," the blond said sitting down across from him.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he said kissing the blond which turned out to be a bad idea. "So, tell me about your day."

Naruto opened his mouth and began to talk about his week, because Sasuke was pretty sure that not everything that had come out of Naruto's mouth could have happened that day, but then again this **was** Naruto. . .

After a while of keeping a list of the names of people he would have to take care of later, and trust that he would be seeing those assholes soon, he looked at the clock that was placed in his peripheral vision, and decided that it was time.

Standing up and walking the short distance to Naruto's side of the table he got down on one knee in front of the dobe, who had stopped talking and was now looking horribly confused, and adorable, though Naruto would have contested to that, which made Sasuke wish that he had been able to have moved the dinner to their home, and took out the ring that had the reddest ruby in the middle shining.

Taking Naruto's left left hand he took the ring finger and slipped it on to that special finger.

He spoke knowing that there was no way Naruto could claim that he didn't hear him seeing as how the whole place was quiet. "Naruto, you know I that I love you more than anyone and more than the whole world, and if you didn't you know now, so, I was hoping you would like to marry me?"

"Um, but you already put the ring on my finger so I don't have a choice. And shouldn't you have done that after I said yes?" Naruto asked blushing.

"That's right, Naruto, you don't have a choice," Sasuke replied truthfully, "but it doesn't matter, because you were going to say yes anyways, right Naruto?"

"I gue-" Naruto began before he was interrupted by Sasuke kissing him.

He could feel himself being picked up into Sasuke's arms, and broke away from the kiss.

"Shouldn't we pay?"

Sasuke grabbed his face, and connected their mouths again. "I already did," he said walking quickly out of the cheering restaurant.

""You always think of everything," Naruto said as Sasuke let go dropping onto a bed in an unidentified room. "Where are we? How did we get here so fast? Breaking and entering is an illegal crime, teme," Naruto said looking up at Sasuke as he leaned back onto his elbows.

"I know," Sasuke said pinching Naruto's leg for that truly stupid comment. "I thought of this part also, because as you said I always think of everything," Sasuke said as he crawled on top of Sasuke kissing his cheek as he simultaneously ripped off Naruto shirt that was hiding some of the goodies he loved so much.

"Hey! That was your shi- Hey!" Naruto yelled as he tried to protest to the ripping of the shirt that he borrowed from Sasuke's part of the closet, you didn't expect him to actually have a suit did you, but that was cast aside when Sasuke pushed him down onto the bed and pushed his body down until his ass was in the damn teme's lap.

He could feel that thing pressed into his ass, and he groaned. So this was why Sasuke had been forcing him, viciously he might add, to eat healthier, and had left him and his body alone. For a while Naruto thought that Sasuke had gotten help for his "problem," but obviously he was wrong.

Plus, for some reason he had the feeling that Sasuke had gotten bigger in the short time that they hadn't been sexual. Oh hot damn.

"Naruto," Sasuke whispered into Naruto's ear as he lifted himself off of Naruto and dug his hand into the pocket of the pants, "why is there a kunai in your pocket?"

"Oh," Naruto blushed, " I was going to propose," Sasuke snorted, and was now so glad that he had acted first, "and I thought you would try to kill me, or at least attack me so I brought it with me, just to be safe."

Sasuke threw the kunai that lodged itself into the wall, and sighed as he got back to Naruto's beautiful body, and wondered briefly when Naruto would forgive and forget about their adventurous, and, um, unusual childhood memories of their friendship.

Kissing, and licking that special spot on Naruto's body that had the blond doing all the things he liked watching him do, he doubted that Naruto would ever forgive and forget about all those memories. Even if those were the times that helped them become closer.

"Oh Good **beep **Sasuke!" Naruto yelled finger digging into Sasuke's hair.

Sasuke smirked.

Naruto woke up tired out of his mind, and wondered why the FUCK he was awake when he looked down at his hand.

As he stared at the red ruby he realized that he had forgotten something.

"Sasuke, wake up," he said using his body, since Sasuke had decided that now they were going to be married he would sleep on top of Naruto, literally, since Naruto had went to sleep on his stomach, and like this Sasuke could still sleep in his favorite position.

He heard a moan, and felt he "wood" between his legs slide out.

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Go look at the pocket of my pants."

"Why don't you?"

'"Cause you, literally, fucked up my spine last night."

He felt the bed shift.

"Yeah, you better feel guilty and responsible," Naruto whispered to himself.

"What did you say?"

"Did you find it?" Naruto asked blushing.

"No. What am I looking for?"

"A ring."

"A ring?"

"A ring."

"Okay, I got it. So why am I searching for this ring?"

"You don't expect me to be the only one to wear one, do you?" Naruto asked.

"It's red."

"Yeah, I know. I chose that color, because there are times when both of our eyes go red, though its not really good when mine's do that," Naruto chuckled, "and you have my hot passionate red love flowing into you."

Sasuke looked at the ring, and slipped it into his finger.

"Who knew you could be so romantic, and thoughtful?" Sasuke said walking over to Naruto as he began another round of making up for lost time.

The ceremony had been beautiful until a couple of people had the bright idea to answer the Hokage when she had asked if anyone had an objection to Sasuke and Naruto being married. Naruto had to hold Sasuke back, and finally got him to calm down with the promise of taking one hour and thirty minutes, Sasuke wanted to barter, off the waiting time.

The reception had been filled with great food , and when it came to to the newlyweds feeding each other Naruto had been confused and ate both pieces looking so adorably cute and innocent, and totally fuckable in Sasuke's eyes, and some others that will be left unnamed to protect their life, but Naruto had made it all better in his ind, in his and Sasuke's mind, by kissing Sasuke so he could get a taste.

Naruto had to be pried away from Sasuke when the adults realized that they were in danger of seeing the consummate their marriage. Even though they knew, especially Sasuke, because he was the one they had to watch out for, that there were children present.

No one was surprised when five minutes, that was longer than they thought Sasuke would have waited,the couple was gone. They had heard Naruto screaming loudly over the music for help, but the Uchiha had scared off the few who did try to help. So, they just apologized , and wished them well. So now they were left alone at the inn without the people they were here to celebrate with, and decided to have a lot of fun at the party ignoring the part of them that felt guilty for letting Naruto be dragged away by a sexual beast that just became his husband.

"Naruto," Sasuke said kissing, sucking, and biting beautiful skin, "I love you," he said pounding into the little blond.

"You better, because for years you've been undermining my manhood so if you didn't I'd have to let Kyubi have his revenge, and if he decided to kill you I wouldn't stop him," Naruto said with a lot more interruptions, because Sasuke was really "into" him that night.

"Whatever," Sasuke said hitting Naruto in his special spot grinning when Naruto's nails dug into his arm.

When Naruto awoke Sasuke was staring at him.

"What do you want, Mr. Uchiha-Perv?"Naruto asked totally sure that it had not been six hours seeing as how he had just gone to sleep thirty minutes again. Yeah, Sasuke wanted to go all night. And he did.

"I can't look at my wife who happens to be the love of my life?" Sasuke asked smirking.

Oh, so now he was a poet, thought Naruto as the phrase replayed itself in his head.

Wait. . . What?

Wife. Wife. Wife. Wife.

His eyes grew wide, and his face flushed red with anger.

"Geez teme, I could-" he began interrupted by a light bulb turning on in his mind. Ooh. . .

He smiled, and shrugged the wife comment off.

"Whatever. This wife can always move out, and get a divorce," he said turning to the side facing away from Sasuke, with great difficulty his bottom half was in pain, and smiled as he went back to a contented sleep.

Marriage wasn't that bad, now was it?


End file.
